CHARICE PACQUIAO: User Guide and Manual
by Mitsuki Horenake
Summary: CONGRATULATIONS!  You just purchased a CHARICE PACQUIAO unit!  To ensure that all your bones are kept in place, we provided you with this manual...


**Disclaimer: The Hetalia franchise is not owned by me. The Hetalia manual series is owned by LolliDictator.**

**HEY DOGSRULE. GUESS WHAT I DID WITH THAT RANDOM RECOMMENDATION THAT YOU OFFERED TO ME.**

**And special thanks to Luna Espejo! Apparently I forgot about Yong Soo Im! Oops XD**

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><p><strong>CHARICE PACQUIAO: User Guide and Manual<strong>

**CONGRATULATIONS! **You just ordered a CHARICE PACQUIAO unit! In order to ensure that you, the user, get the best of this unit and not get any part of your body utterly destroyed by either love or madness, we included this no-looparound manual. Please read this manual before attempting to handle your unit.

**Technical Specifications:**

Name: Charice Pacquiao. Will respond to "Philippines", "Philia", "ate", "sister", and "LOOK! YAOI! OVER THERE!" You can give her a nickname if you wish, but if she doesn't like it she will lapse into _Psychotic Anger._

Age: 18

Place of Manufacture: Manila, Philippines

Height: 5'7"

Weight: 175 lbs

Length: She's a woman. Why are you asking?

Cup Size: Nonexistant. Mention it to a CHARICE PACQUIAO unit and she will either lapse into _Depression_ or _Psychotic Anger_ mode.

**Your CHARICE PACQUIAO unit comes with the following accessories:**

One (1) red shirtdress

One (1) sun pin

One (1) black tights

One (1) set of red boots

One (1) set of Asian pop music **[Music will vary upon purchase. There will be at least five songs in each CD]**

Fifteen (15) sets of yellow pins

**Programming:**

Your CHARICE PACQUIAO unit is equipped with the following traits:

Singer: She's Filipino, and hence she is granted with the karaoke voice that makes it straight to the top. Yes, that's racist, but who cares at this point? Put her in whatever band you want, and she'll climb it straight to the top. The only problem is that you can't make her sing anything past English or Filipino, though she can fake a good Korean song if she has to.

Dancer: It must be something in her, but she is hardy enough to do all the fancy schmancy dancing that can be seen on Dancing with the Stars or So You Think You Can Dance. Feel free to put her on those shows, cause she will be winning hearts and minds. The only problem is that she prefers Asian music over American, so that might cause her problems to keeping her on.

Babysitter: She has raised RIZAL PACQUIAO on her own even when she was a child herself, and hence has a great sense of maturity in her blood. Any children given to her will be surely protected with the rest of her blood. Just make sure that the baby isn't that cute or else the parents might complain about you paying for the child's medical bills…

Cook: CHARICE PACQUIAO is a hungry unit, and will cook whenever she is hungry. Put her in a restaurant and watch her turn the small mom and pop store into a five-star restaurant!

Otaku: Let's face it: she loves anything Asian. If you're the only person in your group of friends that listen to that great Japanese band or watch that Chinese drama, then CHARICE PACQUAIO will be your next best friend! She's also in Yaoi, if you want to share your wildest dreams. Please bear in mind that while she loves Yaoi, she doesn't actually want to watch it happen live.

Writer: She writes a ton of fanfiction, and if you can get her out of fanfiction and into plain fiction or even nonfiction, she'll turn into the next J. K. Rowling. If she likes you, you might get a part of the profit and even the job as manager. Be warned, take advantage of it and she'll lapse into _Psychotic Anger._

**Removal of your CHARICE PACQUIAO unit from Packaging:**

To put simply, CHARICE PACQUAIO is a morning person. You won't jolt her into a locked mode or get horribly mutilated in the process. The only problem is that if you wake her up incorrectly she might come from the packaging groggy and disoriented from the jumpy trip to your house that she will be unable to be reprogrammed for quite some time. Now you won't want that, do you? To ensure her safety, we've attached a list of failsafe ways to get your unit up and working immediately and ready to reprogram.

1) Get a RIZAL PACQUIAO unit or any of the C.O.T units listed below and have them call to the box. She will awaken happily to all of these voices and open the box herself, though she might tackle any of the C.O.T units used, especially if you used a FELICIANO VARGAS or LOVINO VARGAS unit. Please note that if you use a LUDWIG KALTHERZIG or GILBERT BEILLSCHMIDT unit to wake her up, nothing physical will happen. It is perfectly safe to open the box at this point: she is just going through her _Phobia_ mode and will be most likely crying in the corner of the packaging box.

2) Play the Asian CD provided with the unit. You will hear a knock on the box, and upon opening it she will walk out it offering to show you the dance. Beware, for some of the dances might end up with you aching all over the place.

3) Cook whatever type of food you can make. She will wake up and complain how hungry she was. If you are a horrible cook she will not tell you, but will vomit it up later in the day.

4) Scream "YAOI!" and place a doujinshi a few feet away. She will claw her way out of the box and read it immediately. If it is a LUDWIG KALTHERZIG x FELICIANO VARGAS doujinshi, she will never lapse to _Psychotic Anger_ mode in your presence. This can only be done upon opening and not elsewhere.

**Reprogramming:**

After the successful opening of your CHARICE PACQUIAO from her box, you have the option to reprogram her into a different personality, as listed below. Please note that she's one of the few units out there that does not have a locked mode.

_Happy (default)_

_Otaku (default)_

_Confusion-Mania_

_Psychotic Anger _

_Terrified_

_Phobia_

_Depression_

_Cute-Obsession __**[PLEASE NOTE]**_

The CHARICE PACQUIAO unit comes in her default _Happy _and _Otaku_ modes. This is basically everything that a CHARICE PACQUIAO unit should be pre-tainting. She will be extremely optimistic about everything and will always be there whenever you need a picker-upper. Her _Otaku_ mode also ensures that she loves anything and everything Asian: anime, manga, games, you know it, she'll love it. She might end up enforcing some of her Otaku beliefs on other people, but it's perfectly OK for no one actually takes it seriously. She might knock a FELICIANO VARGAS unit into _Flustered_ if left alone too long.

The _Confusion-Mania_ mode is unlocked by giving her information that her mind cannot process. She will start wondering about the strangest things and ask questions that might be even stranger. Be careful though: some of the questions that she asks do make a lot of sense when properly thought out. Physically, she might start looking up Wikipedia pages and Google the strangest things. Please clean out the history when she does so, for some of the things she might be curious about aren't kid-friendly.

_Psychotic Anger_ is a mode that is dangerous to your health, but light compared to _Cute-Obsession LEVEL-3._ You only need someone, be it you, a unit or even a friend of yours, to comment on her lack of breast size, do any of the things mentioned previously in this manual, or brutally hurt any of the C.O.T units to the point of them passing out. She will lash out in anger and try to hurt the attacker in many ways that she can: she seems to have a preference of kicking them in the head or tackling them out the window. Please bear in mind that while she might be extremely brutal she will not kill them in this mode, and once she gets out of it she will go into _Depression _mode. If you gave her a LUDWIG KATHERZIG x FELICIANO VARGAS doujinshi to wake her up, do not worry about this mode.

_Terrified_ mode is triggered whenever she sees someone mad: specifically LUDWIG KATHERZIG or ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO. In this mode, she will avoid them like the plague and scream like a madwoman if they touch her shoulder to talk to her. Do not worry about her, for the units will handle this mode themselves. If she sees you mad and it activates _Terrified_ mode, you have to handle it with her. Yanderes are more than likely to trigger this mode.

On the other hand, _Phobia _is basically a deeper version of _Terrified_, and this mode does require your attention_. _Her _Phobia_ mode is easy to achieve: you only need to have a LUDWIG KATHERZIG unit, a GILBERT BEILLSCHMIDT unit, or an ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO unit. Once you have said unit / person, just position them close to her. She has a bad history with Germans and Spaniards, and she will scream and run as far as she can from them. Do not be surprised if she stays outside the house for days on end just for the sake of avoiding them. But if she befriends that said person, she won't go into _Phobia_ mode anymore. To get her out of it early, get a FELICIANO VARGAS, KIKU HONDA, or a LI XIAO CHUN unit to comfort her.

The above mode might be connected to _Depression_ mode, stated whenever she stays close to the above units to relapse into her past or the after-effect of the _Psychotic Anger_ mode. She will cry on end and will usually stay in her room so that no one else gets disturbed by it. She'll act like a usual teenage girl when she's sad, minus the complaining, to say the least. Talk to her yourself if you have the means, but if you have another unit in the house they will take care of her themselves. Please be careful if you have an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit in the house, for there's a chance that he might take advantage of her. _Depression_ mode can also be activated if she ends up falling in love with any of the units she happens to ship in _Otaku_.

The _Cute-Obsession_ mode is a rather unique mode for a CHARICE PACQUIAO unit. For one thing, she has three levels inside the _Cute-Obsession_ mode and all three must be taken into account.

LEVEL-1: This mode is easily activated in the presence of a C.O.T unit in the house, with the exception of the LUDWIG KATHERZIG unit. She will give them endearing nicknames, hug them a lot, and will be quick to defend them if something comes up. This mode isn't dangerous and can easily be mistaken for her _Happy_ mode. If you have a C.O.T unit prior to having CHARICE PACQUIAO, _Cute-Obsession LEVEL-1_ will be the default mode with her _Otaku_ mode.

LEVEL-2: This level will be activated if something or someone is cute for too long in the presence of CHARICE PACQUIAO. In this level, she will start tackle-glomping people and give bone-crushing hugs to the unlucky targets worthy of her love. Again, she's not that dangerous as she will be visible to people prior to hugging and will be able to defend themselves if need be. In this level, the _Phobia_ mode is overwritten and LUDWIG KATHERZIG can be befriended at this time. Please note that LEVEL-2 can be triggered by small things, such as FELICIANO VARGAS saying "ve~" or a tsundere being dere.

LEVEL-3: This level is the one you have to watch out for. In this level, she will act like she is in LEVEL-2, but she will, for lack of a better word, act like Belarus. She will start sneaking around waiting for people to tackle-glomp, and the hugs can actually snap people's necks and/or spines. She might also develop a bit of an obsession with the said person until she comes out of LEVEL-3. Please watch over your FELICIANO VARGAS or LOVINO VARGAS unit, for they will be the most likely targets for _Cute-Obsession LEVEL-3_ mode.

**Relationships with Other Units:**

CHARICE PACQUIAO is very fascinated with Western culture but keeps true to her Eastern ties. As such, she gets along with almost all the units. Here we mention those with unique stories to their relationships.

RIZAL PACQUIAO: They are brother and sister, and as such she will abandon everything if only to keep her brother safe. Try as you might, there will not be a relationship between to each other for they see each other as only siblings and CHARICE PACQUIAO is not into incest.

ALFRED F. JONES: CHARICE PACQUIAO had been granted her independence by ALFRED F. JONES, and as such has a great debt to him. They will act very happy together, and CHARICE PACQUIAO will be the only unit willing to try out one of ALFRED F. JONES's crazy plans that he might make up at that point. Please watch over them if they try to. They can be in a relationship, but it will be extremely light-hearted and might be blown off as friendship with anyone who doesn't catch onto it.

ARTHUR KIRKLAND: He may not like having CHARICE PACQUIAO around, but it's more out of annoyance than actual hate. There can be a friendship if given time, and the only way for them to get in a working relationship is to get ALFRED F. JONES to help you. Strange, but that's how it happens. Please bear in mind that if RIZAL PACQUIAO passes out from his cooking, she will try to kill him.

FELICIANO VARGAS: CHARICE PACQUIAO basically adores this unit, and if kept to at least LEVEL-2, FELICIANO VARGAS will enjoy her company as well. They will see each other as a sort of brother and sister relationship above all else, but can be pushed into a relationship if you try hard enough. The only problem is that if CHARICE PACQUIAO falls in love with FELICIANO VARGAS, she will lapse into _Depression_ if not confronted with it. You might have to confront her first, since FELICIANO VARGAS is too oblivious to catch it himself. The _Depression_ mode will be deeper if there is a LUDWIG KATHERZIG involved as well.

LOVINO VARGAS: Surprisingly enough, CHARICE PACQUIAO likes LOVINO VARGAS more than she does FELICIANO VARGAS, but LOVINO VARGAS is easily scared by her _Cute-Obsession_ mode to realize that. Once he does, however, he will be accepting of her bone-crushing hugs even though he wouldn't act like that, mainly because he's not used to being showered with that much attention. Again, she will lapse into _Depression_ if she falls in love with him, it gets deeper with an ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO unit involved, but LOVINO VARGAS will be more likely to catch on and confront her about it.

YONG SOO IM: CHARICE PACQUIAO and YONG SOO IM are guy / girl pals, and eternal BFFs. When she's not hanging out with any of the C., CHARICE PACQUIAO will be with this unit. There won't ever be a relationship here even if you wish for it, but if you really push for it CHARICE PACQUIAO might start showing YONG SOO IM her Yaoi stash. And that's never a good thing. YONG SOO IM will usually go to CHARICE PACUQUIAO if he has any problems with his English skills...especially when an ALFRED F. JONES unit is involved.

KIKU HONDA: Despite their harsh past, KIKU HONDA and CHARICE PACQUIAO are actually best friends. They usually exchange otaku notes when they're alone and they can be in a relationship if left alone. Please bear in note that he will be in a rivalry with LI XIAO CHUN over CHARICE PACQUIAO and it's quite entertaining to pick sides.

LI XIAO CHUN: These two have helped each other in the past, and their friendship is closer to a relationship than the other units. Again, he will have a rivalry with KIKU HONDA if they both fall in love with CHARICE PACQUIAO, and despite the fact that he might not show it, he's actually very emotional about it. Please don't get in the way.

LUDWIG KATHERZIG: CHARICE PACQUIAO has a long-going phobia with him, but he will be more than willing to try and help her. If you can keep her in the same room with him for at least a week, the _Phobia_ mode will be overwritten and they will be good friends. A relationship can be made here, but only if you really really try. They are really cute together if you think about it, but be warned: RIZAL PACQUIAO might end up getting jealous.

ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO: Both CHARICE PACQUIAO and RIZAL PACQUIAO will be very wary around ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO because of their long history together, but she will be more willing to make amends with him if you can override her _Phobia_ mode. If you do, they'll see each other as father and daughter most of the time. Please note that CHARICE PACQUIAO's _Depression_ mode is deepest if she falls in love with ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO, and there have been reports that she might become suicidal if she sees him with a LOVINO VARGAS unit. To get her out of it, tell her how much the suicidal thoughts make her a Mary Sue. She'll get out of it extremely quickly.

**Cleaning**

CHARICE PACQUIAO can clean herself perfectly normal, and she will take showers when she wants too. Just don't question what the rough stone or the two small buckets are when you get into the shower next time. Do not offer to join her, especially when there's a RIZAL PACQUIAO unit around.

**Feeding**

She will eat anything and everything that she will be given. Filipino food will definitely be the top of that list, but Korean and Japanese will be a close second. However, all of this is topped with Italian pasta. Don't ask why.

**Rest**

CHARICE PACQUIAO has a normal sleep schedule, sleeping at around ten at night and waking up around at least seven or eight in the morning. She can sleep later if the time demands it, but once that happens she'll be waking up at around ten in the morning. She is a morning person, so it's perfectly safe to wake her up on your own.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q: WHY IS CHARICE PACQUIAO TRYING TO KILL ME WITH HER HUGS? I'M SCARED FOR MY LIFE HERE!

A: Congratulations! You can now call yourself cute, so much that she has lapsed into _Cute-Obsession_ mode in your presence. Do not worry, for LEVEL-3 cannot be activated by a user alone.

Q: We were talking to each other for a few minutes before she suddenly went into _Phobia_ mode. Now she won't even speak to me. Did I do something wrong?

A: Nothing's wrong. You probably mentioned that you have German blood, which she is phobic about. If you want her to get out of it, just mention another nationality in your blood. She'll immediately jump out of it if you mention you're part Italian.

Q: OK, that's it. What the hell is C.O.T?

A: C.O.T is an anagram for **[Cute-Obsession Triggers],** and these units are the ones that trigger _Cute-Obsession_ mode. The list can go on forever, but these are the only reported triggers.

**[Cute-Obsession Triggers]**

FELICIANO VARGAS

LOVINO VARGAS

ARTHUR KIRKLAND

KIKU HONDA

LILI ZWILIGI

RAIVIS GALVANTE

TINO VÄINÄMÖINEN

MATTHEW WILLIAMS

LUDWIG KATHERZIG _(major exception)_

Please bear in mind that she is most likely to be triggered by tsunderes. If there is another unit not listed here, please call Customer Services

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: Instead of the adult otaku, there's a little girl at least ten or eleven in the box. She's not obsessing over the listed units, isn't scared of LUDWIG KATHERZIG, and is deathly afraid of ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO, ARTHUR KIRKLAND, KIKU HONDA, and ALFRED F. JONES. She's also very quiet all the time, and usually does everything I ask her too with a smile on her face. Sometimes I hear her cry in her room, though. If ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO actually tries to talk to her, she starts crying and states that she'll do anything he does.

Answer: Whoops! We accidentally sent you a little!Charice unit! This is CHARICE PACQUIAO during her three hundred years under Spain's rule, and as a result she has no backbone and, for lack of a better word, is his bitch. She will do anything he does without complaint, and will not look at him in the eye. If you want to return her for any reasons, please call Customer Services. Please note that if you do plan to keep her, watch over her with a mother's eye. If ANTONIO FERNANDEZ CARRIEDO is in _Sociopathic_ or _Fanatic_ mode around her, there will be a chance that he will rape her according to reports.

**End Notes**

With enough love, care, and doujinshi to spare, CHARICE PACQUIAO will be a valuable companion and sister to you. Good luck with the unit, and please don't die from bear hugs.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading~!<strong>

**And special thanks to attomic7kittencullen for including her in her fanfic "The Hetalian HQ"! Go read it!**


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